Tuesday, September 23

Today, not yesterday or the next day.

Following a conversation with a friend, about God and time and hope and possibility (really ought to have been a pub conversation, with empty glasses cluttering the table), I did some thinking. My friend was projecting (as far as I can tell) the idea that it is today we should think about. So although people will naturally have expectations, based on previous time spend with us, or perhaps just preconceptions, we should try to free ourselves from these expectations. We should live each day as if it is a new day, if that is possible. Which lead me to a few questions, and namely one about whether, having made what we feel are mistakes, or done stupid things, whether we ought to apologise for them, or just forge the new, forge the better and concentrate on that? Because when we apologise, even to other people, we are simultaneously solidifying regrets, or concentrating on what went wrong, rather than today, here, these minutes, this evening where the sky is dark and the streetlamps lit. I'm not sure; a lot depends on the context, as Offred discusses (or rather Atwood discusses via Offred) in The Handmaid's Tale. It is a question, like most, of interpretation, but what does saying sorry do? For the people who know you, they will probably know that you are sorry, and for those who don't, I suppose you just have to hope, and concentrate on each day as it arrives.

(And yet we plan weeks, months, years ahead. We're forced to. We can't help looking at yesterday, either: 'we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.' Incidentally, when I borrowed someone else's copy of The Great Gatsby, they'd underlined it as well.)


Feminist Avatar said...

But, sometimes an apology is needed to move a relationship forward. Perhaps, one way of looking at it is that an apology should not be for you. If you are apologising to make you feel better, then it isn't always a good idea. An apology should be for the person wronged and should be used when it will be good for them to hear it.

Tom said...

I can't help commenting that some people's future is downstream. Someone who works an incredibly small amount yet lives a relatively luxorious life.

Katy Murr said...

feminist avatar-

that sounds very much like sense to me! What you're saying is true; it should be for the other person, giving them what they need for you and them to progress.

tom -

Normally I get what you're on about, but I'm afraid today I don't. Incidentally, maybe the time at which it was posted has something to do with it? Who's the 'someone' you're talking about? Please explain :)