Friday, August 10

Just another story

(there was a poem here.)

3 comments:

Ben Wilkinson said...

I liked this Katy, lots of potential in it, and a tone that's the right side of honesty but avoids being overly sentimental. I'd say it could be shortened and made more effective for it, however, perhaps the lines could even run a bit longer and it would work better? That said, I loved 'Not that I can know, / or try to know / about right or wrong, / but I would offer you it, / without extra clauses; hidden / insults; or your letters / returned, unopened'.

B x

Katy Murr said...

I had a splurge of writing and reading and scribbling, and sitting thinking last night, which resulted in this and some other stuff. So it is very fresh. Different style stanzas (some *actual* stanzas!), maybe? Most (almost all) of my work could be shortened to cut the crap out, it's true. And this, yes, this as well. Mmm... the extra clauses of relationships; always there, always interesting. Nearly as much as people pretending they know what's right - or, even better, that they are an example of it. Thanks for reading, and replying, it helps very much to guage stuff.

Clare said...

Hi Katy,

I agree it could probably be a little shorter, but this is a lovely poem.

I'm hear because you commented on my blog quite a while ago, and I don't think I ever responded, which was ratyher rude of me. Anyway, I have now, and it's here:

http://www.claresudbery.purpleocity.net/CSFeedback/2005/05/series-on-sexuality.html