Thursday, February 22

Often, I reckon, when you've not spent time with a certain people/peoples, your opinions on them can be more easily swayed, & when you do finally see them again, you can often expect too much. Not that this is at all surprising if you are anyone like me: it is routine to expect too much, & thus be let down by myself, people close to me often, and everything else that makes up day to day life. But it can be a problem, the question of opinions of others, how they can flick so quickly sometimes, yet other times remain quite secure, solid for a long time, before once again flicking and scaring me to some extent. There are, despite this, some people for whom my opinion remains always positive: there is something about them which just makes me enjoy spending time with them, &, being selfish as are most humans, I hence want to spend more and more time with them. Sometimes it is even better when there are huge gaps. Like a mini sort of 'lent', except from with people. Naturally, if they are quite so wonderful, this would have to be enforced either 1) by them - knowing how pissed off I would get, yet still adore their company, or 2) by something out of all our control. Usually the latter - most people don't have enough staying power for the first, nor recognise how rewarding it could be.


Have you noticed I sometimes use '&', yet also use 'and'. This is a vain attempt to make myself delight more in writing - I do not naturally use '&' often (! it has, surprisingly, crept into a few timed-essays recently!) - yet the shape of it delights me. As does the word 'yet'. And 'wonder'. So yes, purely a silly tic on my behalf; because it delights me. Yes.


I am going to go and get my red notebook. It is quite gorgeous. From paperchase - I expect ridiculously expensive, despite being unable to recall the precise amount. Anyhow, to the red book. I will write some things I meant to write here a long time ago - I wrote them in the red book - as I so often do with early-hours-of-the-morning writings.


'Often [cue head tilt...], I reckon one of the most fantastic [read, 'purely selfish'] things would be to have someone to lie with and talk to just as you are falling into the lull of inbetween asleep and awake, neither quite here nor there. Not when you are recognising your dreams - for that is another lull - but certainly, a lull.

Yesterday (which was 'V' day - more about that later.) [there might not be more, depending on my laziness/ care for your boredom.] I went swimming. With my new goggles. Very exciting: it meant I could sit cross-legged on the bottom of the pool (as I enjoy doing), look up, &, see clearly. Plus they have an interesting [read: 'pointless, but amuses me'] sort of clip at the back.

Then we went to a French cafe where I ate hot chocolate, half a croissant (well and truly soaked in the river-like - wait, that sounds awfully unappealing now I reread it... - froth) and half a strawberry tart...'

And so it goes on. & Then I rant about Valentine's day, for the majority, being an excuse to attempt to put a pretty front on their relationship(s?), superficial, and where teenage girls are delighted if they get roses and/or chocolates. (How unoriginal and dull can you get? Plus they've probably not even found out *which* chocolates and/or roses they really enjoy. Urgh... pass the next sick bucket type moment.) I suppose though, most people don't recognise the idea of idiosyncrasy most days - with the consumerist machine of V day, we can hardly hope that they will...

There was also an Armitage poem I was going to put up here, because he 1) is more likely to produce amusement, and can write far better, and 2) even my desperate attempts at writing recently are... well, that, quite simply: desperate. Nevertheless, shall I submerge myself in reading, I will be learning something, so, once I am done with what I am making at the moment (top secret... *drum rolls*...), I shall do so.

Now let me find this bugger of an Armitage poem, for it really is worth reading. Gaaaah... I cannot find it. It was on a Guardian unlimited thread, & talked about some kid in science. (poems with stupid kids & science & Armitage are hardly likely to be dull, are they?)

OK, you get this one instead, enjoy! (& discuss/ comment?)

I'll leave you with a Baudelaire quote (from one of his intros to ‘Fleurs du Mal’)...

'But I have one of those happy natures that enjoy hatred and feel glorified by contempt.'


Anonymous said...

You told me too leave you a long, winding message so we shall see how this goes. Assessing poems is not something I am very good at (I've never done it before so...), but I'll give impressions. First off, wrong title. "You're beautiful" reminds me of days upon days of James Blunt contaminating the radio and swirling around your head for the hours following...but luckily the poem is utterly different. Adopting a jokey style with underlying themes of truth (not personally experienced in such things, but I can imagine love and whatever else he is talking about is so), it does not swoon and tumble like Master Blunts atrocity. I like the poem, but it goes on. I feel like it is trying to capture beauty and its moments far too many times that eventually it becomes dull. Similarities between each line bores me. Yet whatever he was setting out to capture he apparently captured it, so well done to him. Oh, and he could cut down slightly on the amount of times he uses the chorus.
Sitting cross-legged at the bottom of the pool? I used to do that, inspired by the main character of the kids book Maphead. And I thought I was being original....:-(
V day was created to make people feel lonely and cheap. Damn the government and its factory agents.
You told me to read the Time Travellers Wife, which I am doing. Awesome poem in it though, written by Clare's now dead mum. What do you think? (I want to know how poor my choice of preferred poetry is compared to your literary genius).

At the moment
all hope is weak
and small.
Music and beauty
are salt in my sadness;
a white void rips through my ice.
Who could have said
that the angel of sex
was so sad?
or known desire
would melt this vast
winter night into
a flood of darkness.

Not so keen on the first three lines are not so wonderful, but the rest has some beautiful phrases.
"are salt in my sadness;
a white void rips through my ice"
"or known desire
would melt this vast
winter night into
a flood of darkness"
Especially like those two bits.
What you think?

(who apologises for any mistakes of the grammatic kind)

Katy said...

I don't care about assessment, just your reactions will do nicely (they always tend to suffice; be it by amusement, or some other form of acknowledgement.)

I empathise with what you say about the title, entirely! 'but luckily the poem is utterly different' - yes, it sort of proves you wrong in a way that wins you round, the surprise element!

The repetition - I have wondered about this, but have you ever heard Armitage reading/ performing his poems? You should google for them - he is fantastic, seriously - great accent too! (& do let me know your reckonings!) Then again, I gave this poem to you not as an audio file, but indeed to be read from the page/ screen, so your response seems to be aligned. Not correct, but aligned.


I do hate to spoil moments where the idea of originality deludes; please forget I mentioned it!


Mmm... we don't really need an overdose of it, do we? :)


Have you finished it now? I'm eager to discover your thoughts on it!

'(I want to know how poor my choice of preferred poetry is compared to your literary genius).' - nonsense. One of my friends here also suggested one of the poems out of that book for my current art project.

To the poem: the first three lines, I agree with you - it seems as if they are trying to place a point so obviously that it becomes pained in the process! Embarassingly, maybe?

I like the play on the common phrase, where it is turned to 'salt in my sadness'. Simple, but the sort of thing which delights me. Not so sure about the use of 'void'. Over-emo attempts at poetics come clattering into my mind. That's just me being annoyingly subjective, though.

Yes, I do like the last two lines, I like the way the sounds echo through them, the 'w's and 'd's, and the way the 'vast' totters on the end of the line, empahised.

Fantastic contrast :D

(no need.)